Stay At Home Mom How To: 10 Tips To Stay Motivated And Avoid Burnout
Feeling burned out? Kind of blah? If you’re looking for simple tips on how to stay motivated as a stay at home mom, I got you!
The truth is, Moms do a lot of “unseen” work to take care of our families whether you work inside or outside of the home. Take a moment and I bet you can think of at least 10 tasks you do daily that nobody really notices but would miss if you stopped doing them!
It’s easy to feel underappreciated and like the things you’re doing for your family don’t matter. I’m here to remind you that they do! And I know your family appreciates you even if they don’t voice that out loud every day! I’ve used the simple tips below to stay motivated and feel encouraged in the past and they’ve been a huge help. So I’m sharing this week in case you’re lacking motivation and need a little push. Let’s jump in!
Is It Normal To Feel Overwhelmed As A Stay At Home Mom?
Of course! Taking care of your children and home full time is 100% a “real job” and it can be overwhelming just like a job outside of the home can. Some days, some weeks even, are going to feel overwhelming and stressful; that’s just the nature of the beast.
The key is to come up with techniques to deal with that feeling of overwhelm in a healthy way. Give yourself space to acknowledge the feeling and re-center yourself if you can. Taking a step back to focus on your needs and reflect on why you’re feeling swamped is an excellent form of self-care. Plus, after you’ve taken a minute, you can develop a plan to de-stress.
How Do Stay At Home Moms Feel Happy?
So, a bit of real talk before we continue: it’s okay (and totally normal) if you don’t feel happy all the time. There’s a common misconception that we’re happy, stress-free, and relaxed the majority of the time because we “get to stay at home” all day.
The lie detector test determined that is FALSE!
Yes, life as a stay at home mom is a privilege and a blessing for lots of reasons (financially, emotionally, etc.) But that doesn’t mean it’s not hard as heck some days. If you’re reading this as a stay at home mom, and you’re feeling unmotivated, or you’ve had a few bad days this week, that doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong! Here’s your reminder that this life isn’t easy and it’s okay to acknowledge that.
Feeling motivated and encouraged as a stay at home mom isn’t just about feeling happy 100% of the time. It’s about being realistic about the normal stressors of everyday life and figuring out a healthy way to address them.
*Quick caveat: If you start to feel like you’re having more bad days than good days, or you can’t seem to pull yourself out of a slump, you may need a little extra support and that’s nothing to be ashamed of. Reach out to your doctor or a therapist to see if they can help!
How Do You Find Purpose As A Stay At Home Mom?
As I mentioned above, staying at home is a full-time job. But it shouldn’t be your entire identity. As moms, our children and our homes are sources of pride and purpose, but they’re not the only things that make up who we are. This post is about providing motivation for stay at home moms, but I also want to encourage you to honor who you are outside of motherhood. When you’re able to prioritize your needs and passions outside of your family, you’ll automatically feel more motivated and purposeful when you’re in “Mom mode”.
How To Stay Motivated As A Stay At Home Mom: 10 Simple Tips
1. Celebrate Your Wins
Reflect on your day so far. Something good happened today, right? Or maybe, it was a rough day and it feels like nothing went right. Did you avoid losing your temper with your kids? Do you have a plan in place to make tomorrow better? Did you step away for time to yourself? Those are all wins and it’s important to acknowledge them.
Celebrating your wins, no matter how small, is important because it reminds us that there’s always something to be grateful for. Focusing on the good parts of my day (or remembering those parts at the end of a particularly stressful day) helps me to stay motivated to finish my day strong and do it all over again the next morning.
2. Find Your Community
Total transparency: I’m not as good with this tip! But even I understand the importance of finding your community of kindred spirits outside of your family. It’s important to have someone (or multiple someone’s) to swap advice with, commiserate with when things kind of suck, or just spend time together outside of Mom mode.
Finding your community online is a good idea too, and I’m not just talking about Mom groups on Facebook. You can find also find your tribe through podcasts, blogs, and content creators (like your girl!) that speak honestly about Mom life and what we deal with on a daily basis. Here are a few of my favorites:
Conscious Parenting For The Culture (FB Group)
Positive and Conscious Marriages For The Culture (FB Group)
Good Moms, Bad Choices Podcast
Another opportunity to find your people? Right here on All Day Britney! Join below for weekly self-care inspo from a Mom who gets it(:
3. Make Time For Yourself
We discussed this a bit up top, and it bears repeating here. Prioritize your self-care (this includes the “unsexy” self-care moments that we talked about on IG AND things like a bath time self care routine, quiet time with a good book, etc.) Bottom line: make time for the things, besides your children, that bring you joy and make you feel whole.
4. Gain Some Perspective
Quick reminder that the work you’re doing MATTERS. I read a quote once about how raising free Black children is its own form of activism and I truly believe that. Nurturing young minds and providing a safe, loving space for those minds is important.
Not to mention, if you were to tally up the hours spent taking care of your babies and keeping your home, I would imagine that number would be pretty high! It’s hard to see it sometimes because this particular job is unpaid, but it’s important and it’s needed. When I’m feeling burned out, I remind myself of that!
5. Create Family Goals
This is a great opportunity to involve your kids and your partner. As a family, what do you want to achieve this quarter? Season? Year? Come up with family goals and then actually write those goals down. That way, you can refer back to them on days when you lose focus or need a bit of motivation.
BONUS: One of the best ways to stay motivated as a stay at home mom? Take a look at goals you wrote down months ago and have actually achieved together as a family! Nothing is more motivating and encouraging than seeing how far you’ve come.
6. Don’t Sweat The Small Stuff
We’ve all been there! You get into a disagreement over something petty with your partner and it ruins your entire morning. Or one of your kids leaves their dirty clothes on the bathroom floor instead of the hamper, even though you’ve reminded them several times where those clothes are supposed to go.
Now, you’re stressed out and irritated for the day because, in your mind, your kids take you for granted and they’re never going to be able to do things for themselves because you’re always doing things for them.
Sound familiar?
The truth is that’s just how life goes sometimes. There are silly arguments, kids make mistakes; heck you probably make mistakes daily! It’s okay. And I’m not saying to ignore things that are important to you or pretend like something doesn’t upset you. But don’t let it ruin your morning or, worse, your entire day. Address it, develop a plan to avoid it happening again, and move on with your day.
Afterall, it’s hard to stay motivated as a stay at home mom if you’re constantly focused on what’s irritating you with no real plan to move forward! Pick your battles, Mama!
7. Let Go Of The Guilt
Like I said above, mistakes happen. You may lose your temper. You may forget something important. You might make a decision, reflect on that decision later and realize it was the wrong one. That’s life, and there’s no reason to let guilt over a bad decision add to your stress. Make your apologies, figure out a plan to move forward and stop obsessing.
I also want you to let go of another type of guilt: mom guilt. When I first started having my children, I put them above everything else. As you can imagine, that didn’t work out so well. But when I finally decided to prioritize my own needs, I felt intensely guilty about spending time on myself when I could, in my mind, easily devote that time to my children.
I had to remind myself of that quote we always hear: you can’t pour from an empty cup. We hear it all the time because it’s true! Taking care of yourself and honoring your passions outside of motherhood doesn’t make you a bad Mom. In fact, it actually makes you a more present and motivated mother. And your kids need to see their Mom doing her thing so they know, as they get older, that it’s okay to prioritize what matters to them too.
8. Get Out Of The House
One of my favorite ways to stay motivated as a stay at home mom is giving myself a change of pace to keep things interesting. If you look up and realize it’s been a week since you stepped outside of your home, it’s definitely time to switch things up! And I’m not talking about running errands by yourself or taking the kids to school.
Get out of the house and do something that’s just for you. Maybe take a walk and enjoy the fresh air. Go to the mall and smell candles. Go to a coffeeshop for your coffee this weekend instead of your regular cup at home. Whatever works for you!
9. Ask For Help
If you’re feeling overwhelmed and overworked, it might be time to have an open and honest conversation with your partner about how they can help out a bit more. I hear from a lot of stay at home moms that their partners feel like because they stay at home, they’re supposed to handle everything pertaining to the home and the children. But if that’s the case, when do you ever get a break?
Your partner can (and should) help out with both of those things. And I’m not just talking about “chipping in” here and there when you ask. These are their children, and this is their home as well. They need to offer consistent and tangible help and it’s okay to ask for that.
Another thing to consider? Empower your children to do certain things for themselves! Relax, I’m not talking about asking your three-year-old to load the dishwasher!
So, my kids are 8, 5, 4, and 1, and it’s not that I don’t think the older ones are capable of doing some things on their own. It’s just usually easier (and sometimes faster) if I do it for them. But I try to remind myself that it’s important for kids to learn life skills. And the only way they’re going to develop those skills is through me and their Dad encouraging them to do things for themselves.
Keep it age appropriate, of course, but it’s totally okay to let your kids fix their own snacks, put away their own laundry, clean up their spaces, etc. Plus, it’s a lot easier to stay motivated as a stay at home mom when you’re not bogged down with having to do every little thing for your kids.
10. Treat Yo Self!
If you got that reference, you are my people(;
Years ago, when I was running my online boutique, one of the main pieces of advice that stayed with me was: start paying yourself as early as possible. The thought process was that if you’re working hard in your business without paying yourself, it’s difficult to stay motivated when you’re not seeing the rewards of that hard work. I’ve applied that same idea to life as a stay at home mom
Stay with me.
How do you reward yourself as a stay at home mom? Maybe your kid will do something especially advanced as a result of a concept you’ve been teaching her and you feel a sense of pride from that.
For me, watching those moments of kind and loving interaction between my children lets me know we’re doing something right. Or letting them resolve conflict amongst themselves without me having to jump in. Those moments are certainly rewarding and let me know that the values we’re trying to instill are being received.
But they’re not necessarily tangible rewards.
So, how to I reward myself? Little treats! I’m not saying you have to spend a lot of money. Sometimes, a “little treat” looks like taking a delicious daytime nap or trying a new coffee recipe. Sometimes, it’s splurging on that dress you’ve been eyeing or updating your wardrobe for the season.
Whatever it is, it’s important to do special things FOR YOURSELF every once in a while. It’s similar to the concept we discussed above with running a small business. If you compensate yourself when you can, whatever that looks like, it’s easier to stay motivated a stay at home mom.
Feeling a little more motivated? Good! The next time you feel like just crawling back in bed for the day, whip out this blog post and use these little reminders to keep going. And if there’s a tip that you have that I didn’t mention here, share with the class below! We’re in this together!
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