Do You Want To Be A Good Mom? Authentic Living Can Help!

Before we get started, lean in really close. If you’re reading this, you’re ALREADY a good mom. If you love on your babies, provide for them, and protect them, you’re already doing all the right things. This post is not meant to be another “how to be a better mother” post with a list of all of the things you’re doing wrong.

Instead, I want to encourage you to live authentically and in your truth so that you can, in turn, be a better mama to those beautiful babies. For women especially, authentic living is sometimes harder than we would like it to be. We fill so many roles with our loved ones: mother, partner, caretaker, confidante. The list goes on and on. We focus so much on providing for everyone else, that we sometimes forget who we are and what it means to live authentically in the process.

DISCLOSURE: I only recommend products I would use myself and all opinions expressed here are our own. This post contains affiliate links from which I earn a commission, at no extra cost to you, when you make a purchase. Read more about it HERE

I recently sat down with Authenticity Coach, Bianca Hughes, to discuss what “authentic living” actually means and I was inspired to embrace the concept in my own life afterwards. (You can listen to our chat above).

Once I applied this concept to my life as a work from home mom, I was able to approach my day-to-day routine with more confidence and contentment. That spilled over into parenting my children, and now I’m present with my kids and, I feel, a better mother all around.

And now…

How Do You “Live Authentically”?

As Bianca mentioned during our chat, authentic living is an ongoing journey that involves complete honesty with God, with yourself, and with your loved ones. Living authentically means embracing your truth, who you are at your core, and to allowing that truth to inform how you move through the world. Essentially, to live authentically is to live on your own terms.

What Does Authentic Living Have To Do With Being A Good Mom?

Now that we’re clear on the definition of authentic living, how does that aid in your desire to be a good mom to your children? I’ve been exploring this idea ever since I chatted with Bianca and here’s what I’ve come up with. Living in your truth, whatever that means TO YOU, allows you to have much more authentic interactions with your children.

Here’s an example:

I used to simply call myself a SAHM. Even back when I had the boutique, once I transitioned back into real estate, and after I started this blog, if anyone asked me what I did, that was always my answer. Obviously, being a stay-at-home-mom is an amazing, rewarding, and incredibly tough way of life. There’s nothing wrong with it. But it wasn’t an accurate description of my life.

I found that I resorted to that “title” because I thought people might judge me because the other things I was doing weren’t going as smoothly or successfully as I wanted them to. So I felt like I couldn’t call myself a “boutique owner” or “content creator” because I hadn’t achieved a specific level of success that I thought people might expect from me.

I made the decision to throw myself completely into motherhood, because, at one point, I felt like that was the only thing I was actually good at. But I started to resent my children because I stopped making time for everything else that mattered to me. In the end, I couldn’t show up the way my kids needed me to, because I was coming from a resentful, unfulfilled place.

(If this resonates with you, I think you’ll enjoy another podcast interview I did recently on honoring who you are outside of motherhood. Take a listen!)

I recently made a commitment to myself to take my current job as a content creator seriously and start prioritizing that along with other things I enjoy that are just for Britney. For me, owning my business and all that it entails is an example of living authentically. Doing so freed up a lot of mental space and gave me the ability to approach my parenting from a refreshed, relaxed, and, ultimately, more effective place.

Join the All Day Britney tribe for Black Owned Features & more motherhood, family, and style content!

7 Tips To Help You Live Authentically & Be A Good Mom

Now that we’re clear on some of the ways authentic living can help clear the way to be a better mom, how do we start living more authentically? Bianca shared some great actionable tips during our chat and I want to share a few things that have worked for me as well.

Assess Where You Are Now

What does life look like for you right now? What challenges are you currently facing, and what are you doing to overcome them? What do your relationships with your loved ones and other people look like? Could they use some improvement?

Identify Your Strengths & Weaknesses

Take an honest look at the things you’re really good at, as well as the things you struggle with. Conduct yourself accordingly. When I have an idea, I tend to make it so “big picture” that it starts to feel overwhelming and unachievable, so I end up scrapping it without ever trying it in the first place. Once I realized that, I was able to take steps (like breaking down my goals into bite-size, manageable tips) to avoid placing undue stress on myself.

Figure Out What Your Body’s Trying To Tell You

As Bianca mentions in the episode, our bodies will often tell us everything we need to know about a decision we’re about to make or even how we’re currently living our lives. If you’re tired or achy all the time, there’s a disconnect somewhere with how you’re living. At the 16:30 mark in the episode, Bianca describes her 2 Minute Body Scan Exercise. It’s great for assessing your body’s needs and what it may be trying to tell you.

Take An Honest Look At Your Decisions

Think about the decisions you make on a daily basis. Are they authentic to who you are as a person? I found that I make a lot of decisions based on what I think other people want me to do. So I’ve made a point to focus more on my own wants and needs in order to make choices that make the most sense for me.

During our interview, Bianca also speaks about intergenerational trauma and how it can affect our decision-making. If you find that a lot of how you interact with your children is based on the negative things you experienced as a child, it may be time for some unpacking, and, perhaps therapy. Once you begin the self-work, you’ll be better able to make healthy parenting decisions that are not born out of fear, resentfulness, or negativity.

Be Honest With Yourself About The Season You’re In

This is one of my struggles, honestly. When it comes to my content creation business, I want to do ALL THE THINGS. And it when it comes to my children and hubby, I want to do ALL THE THINGS. But, realistically, I can’t do everything. Duh, right? Right now, my season involves young kids that need me, and while I honor the work I do outside of them, I never want to lose sight of my responsibility of raising tiny humans.

While this particular part has been the most challenging for me, working through it has also been the most rewarding and instrumental in helping me be a better mom.

Try Meditating

I know, I know, you’ve probably heard this one before. But, Bianca had the best explanation I have ever heard about why meditation is important and how it helps. When we take time to breathe and think, we’re able to approach our day (or a big project) with more clarity and make better decisions.

For me, meditation doesn’t necessarily look like the typical picture you see on Pinterest! Taking a few minutes over my morning coffee to reflect on my day and the things I’m grateful for has really made a huge difference. And if that sounds like a lot, meditation can be as simple as taking a few minutes to think about absolutely nothing. Figure out what works for you!

Realize It’s All Connected

Bianca speaks quite a bit about the emotional, physical, mental, and spiritual parts of authentic living and how they’re all interconnected. If you’re not honoring yourself in one area, the other areas will suffer too. It may sound overwhelming, but if you take a minute to assess where you are in each of these areas of your life, you can start to make small changes that will lead to huge improvements later on.

One last thing…

Remember that this is an ongoing journey. Authentic living is a constant state of unpacking, holding yourself accountable, and adjusting your behavior. And if you’re completely new to this concept, it may take a minute to fully get it.

But I want you to know, you’ve taken a huge step just by reading this blog post! You’re obviously here because you want to be a good mom (remember what I said earlier about that!) and you want to live a more authentic life, so you’re headed in the right direction, Mama!

Books And Other Resources For Moms Who Want To Live Authentically

• 21 Insights For Authentic Living, by Cherlene Wilson

• Living Against The Grain: How To Make Decisions That Lead To Authentic Life, by Tim Muldoon

Thanks for reading,

I hope you enjoyed this blog post as much as I enjoyed writing it! I’ve recently begun my own journey into exploring and celebrating who I am outside of motherhood and that has definitely helped me live more authentically. In turn, I find that I’m able to be a better partner to my husband and a better mother to my babies.

When I started putting myself first, my loved ones reaped the benefits(: I want to use my platform to encourage my fellow mamas to do the same, so if you’re on a similar journey, please join my tribe below and let’s go through it together!